That girl...you know...that one?

I'M LAURA
I'M LAME
I WHINE A LOT AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THINGS ARE
I HAVE TO SHOWER EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M MADE OF LAME-BOARD!

I don't know. I've been dreaming about stars a lot. I'm not sure what that means. Maybe it's because I've started working at Starbucks? I don't know.

What are you kids dreaming about?

Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY IN SONG TITLES by that band

Artist/band: Fall Out Boy
Are you male or female: Nobody Puts Baby In the Corner
Describe yourself: Grenade Jumper
How do some people feel about you: Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today
How do you feel about yourself: Homesick at Spacecamp
Describe where you want to be: Saturday
Describe what you want to be: A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"
Describe how you live: Sophmore Slump or Comeback Of The Year
Describe how you love: Dead On Arrival
Share a few words of wisdom: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

It's a pretty good spot. The blacktop stays warm for a while after the sun sets. And laying under the stars is infinitely more interesting with bad eyes like mine, eyes that make shooting stars and constellations where there's only chaos. You can lay so that you can see nothing but the sky above you, and if you're listening to the right song, you feel like you're falling into the darkness. Anyway I've christened it now, so I suppose it's mine.

We were in Boston Market today and this middle-aged guy was behind me, a youngish, cute, sincere looking girl. So I order macaroni and cheese, as a child does. Then he orders it. So what does fucking Boston Market do? They serve him up some nice mac 'n' cheese, the man BEHIND me, and then tell me they're all out.
Vendetta. Vendetta on their souls!

Also I am more hardcore then you because I got bloody playing Capture the Flag.

This is the first post I've written in maybe weeks. I don't know why. Stuff's been going on. I moved, stuff like that. These poetic phrases keep running through my head, but sometimes I just wonder, why should I post that kind of stuff on livejournal? I hate those people. So I don't know.

How was your day?

I registered for my new school today...I had to sign up for my classes and somehow I have to triple up on histories because I have to take naother world history course plus a government course...but I managed to haggle with my guidance counsellor (scariest fake smile ever) and now, in exchange for taking AP Lit, I get to take those two courses on the regular level. Apparently here, non-AP classes actually mean classes for idiots and thugs. So I should be all right. I'm also taking AP Psych, and an art class, where she assures me I can just fool around and make what I want. That shoudl be amazing, if it's true. What a miserable meeting though. I was pretty much in tears the whole time because she was throwing me all these requirements rules they had and kept vetoing classes I wanted to take and kept telling me if I wanted to go to college I had to take this class and I was just screaming inside. I don't want to take AP Lit...why does it need a class? ASL didn't need a class! Dammit I should've just taken it last year... What a FOOL I was. And now I have to do the summer assignments in a week and a half. Aaaaand the assignments suck.

Really I'm unhappy because none of my friends are calling me and when I call them they're not available, aka they're working or out with their friends and for some reason can't imagine that I'd like to come. I'm really lonely and I'm having withdrawal symptoms from my lack of human contact. Coming from having a boyfriend and a crew team to being alone with a family that doesn't hug is very strange.

And now I'm missing Jeremy more which sucks because I was over that and now because I'm alone all the time I start thinking about it more and I'm regretting that I missed out on a summer of fun. I'm sure I had my reasons, but after a while it's hard to remember them.

PEOPLE OF VA aka two of you... anyone interested in a slight road trip up to Philadelphia to see Nintendo Fusion Tour, FEAT. Fall Out Boy and every other badn I've ever wanted to have sex with?

Hey guess what everyone, I totally made a really mature, grown-up decision tonight and I'm really proud of myself! It wasn't based on a song or anything, it was all me!

So as it's officially my last day in London. I'm kind of scared, I've grown sort of attached to this city in the last two weeks (it crept up on me...such bad timing). I spent tonight sitting on a rooftop with my wifey, drinking and eating marshmallows and chocolate cornflakes and having the sort of profound, philosophical conversations that evening rooftop excursions require. I got a little overwhelmed though, thinking it was coming to an end. But then it got cold, and the neighbor on the next roof was coughing up an organ, so we went inside and she made me special Guatemalan potatoes (hooo my god) while we watched Sex and the City.
So much better than the night I had planned.

So, in summation, potatoes and roofs are good.
Morning embassy visitors that require you to move from room to room looking for a place to curl into a ball and sleep are bad.

I took Julia to Wagamama for lunch today and as warned, we ran into some kids from school...but it was nice to see the Emo Princess one last time. And I guess her floppy haired boyfriend, too.

As we were walking back into the building, she noted that there were a lot of people on the stairs making calls. I didn't think much of it, since there are always people waiting around out there. I came back into my office, and all the people were gathered into little groups talking...I got a little nervous, but I stood there waiting to be filled in and nothing happened and then they started talking about drinking and hen parties. I went about my business and while walking away from the copy machine, finally saw on TV that there've been more explosions, but like, really small ones. Like firecrackers, they said, but they're bomb detonators. And they've closed down a few Tube lines again.
Okay, not a huge deal, but you'd think they could've told me.
We watched the news in the boss's office, punctuating Tony Blair's press conference with talk about cricket, codenames and flurried arguments about the actresses in Top Gun.

What an ominous day. My dad and I got on the bus this morning, a bus that is usually packed and sweaty. Today we were the only ones on it. I got kind of creeped out, but there you go. Foreshadowing in reality.

BUT James is a soldier and so our plans to see Madagascar tonight are still on. HELLZ YES, TAKE THAT TERRORISTS I FEAR YOU NOT. Cuz you know, they might pop out of the flower bushes in that alley on the way to the theater.

It's really windy outside. I mention this only because there was just a huge gust of wind and it definitely sounded like a missile just flew by.

So Tuesday night we just ended up at Patton's eating cookies and watching The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants ha...well it wasn't so bad but I'm glad I didn't pay for it. Greece looks nice though but this girl totally lost her virginity on a beach and I kept thinking that that must have been uncomfortable. But it was nice to hang out with them even though I got home at least an hour later then I wanted to and was just so tired... I wake up ALL the time in the night to turn over, it's getting annoying. and I keep having harry potter dreams...or maybe they're not, I don't know. harry and draco are SO going to hook up though. It's crazy sexy tension. YES.
You know JK Rowling made 25 million pounds the NIGHT that that book came out?

Last night we went over to the mcallister's for dinner and had chinese food. It was nice, but they eat really politely and I wanted thirds but no one else got up and they would all eat one bite and then put down their forks and I wanted to cry because I'm always the first to finish eating. Damn this voracious appetite. China King is back on the list of food places to hit up the first couple of days in the land of the free...plus wendy's and 711. And Taco Bell because people say that's good.

My house smells like cardboard boxes and temporary housing. I love it.

So I just found out that I in fact have a summer reading assignment. While my boss gave me the great idea of "just watch the movie, and then you can just skim the book! I did it and I got As!", the other choice is reading a book relating to the assigned theme.
So. The theme is social awareness... What does that mean to people, and any ideas on books?

We had two minutes of silence today in honor of the attacks last Thursday. The embassy kids all assembled on the front steps to "show our solidarity and defiance", facing Grovesnor Square, where ten minutes before there had been a "suspect package" warning and lockdown. Hella defiant. It was pretty intense... the two minutes started and all the people in the park stood up (most were half-clothed, interrupting their sunbathing)and kept still and quiet. It was strange seeing everyone stop. Until my old 28 Days Later zombie-phobia crept in and I got kind of nervous. But I guess I was kind of hoping the city would have an official start, like in Israel, where they would blow the air raid sirens to call everyone to attention... maybe ring the bells or something. But no...

In other news, got AP scores back, 4s across the board. I'm pretty pleased, especially with art, since I was expecting like a 2. So there you go, SUCK THAT AP BOARD!

After last night's orgy of chinese food and Pimms with the remaining crew stragglers, I had a date tonight with Mr. Poggioli, aka the Pog, aka my math teacher, a wise man with a hysterical laugh. He pays for dinners and says bad words...it feels so rebellious. Dragged along Sydney once more as a buffer, and had a magical evening of noodles and sunsets. We walked around the park and played (ran from) the swans, and explored the creepy empty building and told ghost stories. I'm happy today. I walked home alone and felt really sad that I was leaving all this, especially now that the people I care about have started to drop out. But I'm also really excited for VA. Don't know why. But last summer I was there I had a lot of fun. Plus, possible free movies at Regals. Yes? No?

Your Summer Anthem is Best Of You by the Foo Fighters I've got another confession my friend I'm no fool I'm getting tired of starting again Somewhere new While you may seem bright on the outside, your insides have a distinct angst flavor.

Well. After yet another bout of emo during/after work, I recovered by huddling up in a big blanket and watching Mean Girls again. That movie soothes the soul.
Besides that, everyone here seems to be keeping a stiff upper lip and all that, so things are pretty much back to normal - everyone went off to work today on public transport. I rode my bike becasue I thought that would be cool, but unfortunately both tires are partially flat so it was actually this excruciating effort and I got my work clothes all sweaty. Anyway. My bosses aren't here yet.

Since I've been in the office all day, I keep going back to cnn.com to check what the latest reports are. It's so strange to see the headlines changing.
"Power outages lead to disrupted Tube service"
"Underground transportation disrupted by a blast at a station"
"London hit by blasts"
"TERROR IN LONDON!!!!"

ahh....

Okay. Work is slightly less boring now. The marines went on the loudspeaker to announce two blasts at Tube stations, and to stay away from other stations. I was all ready for the embassy to go crazy with terrorist rumours, but actully, no one seems to mind that much... my coworkers were joking about it, hactually.
"Oh no...I've got to go over to the FCO. I don't want to get killed today. Ideally."
"No, that'd be inconvenient...we have reservations."

So I don't know. There are reports of trouble at other stations now, but they're saying it's caused by power surges, but people are saying that there are casualties and they look all smoky and burnt, so I don't know. And there are rumors of bus bombs. And outside, all I'm hearing is sirens. But no one seems to know what's going on, and no one seems to be worried. Just something to think about I guess...
There was a bombscare last time I worked here, too... we all had to hide in the windowless offices and hunker down. False alarm then.

...okay, I admit, the sirens are freaking me out a little.

LATER
...yeah. They're bombs. At multiple stations, and apparently a couple of buses. And a train crash. Apparently they're not letting anyone out of the embassy either, which doesn't make a difference, since it's morning, but seems significant. What the hell is going on?

So I've become boring. Really, really mind-explodingly boring. Most days I drag myself home from work to collapse on the couch, eat, then go back to the couch and slip into a food coma until bed. This kind of schedule makes me wonder why I'm so tired in the mornings. It's not like I work-out or anything, oh no, no energy for that. It's not that I don't get invited out (although there's a sparse amount of people left), it's just that when I do actually hang out with people, I'm so exceptionally dull that it's really just painful for both of us. My brain has become numb to emotion (unless a headache is an emotion) and I have nothing to talk about, nor do I want to laugh or have fun or be merry like a teenager should be. No. I want to sleep. When I'm with someone I resent them because they mean that I'm not sleeping. Watching a movie is okay because that requires nothing on my part, but anything conversational is completely beyond my grasp.
I hate my job so much. I almost start to cry everyday, usually after lunch when I swore that I would work out but I can't because I'm so tired and its' raining and I just want to DIE. Not like they would notice...maybe in three hours, when they need me to copy ONE PIECE OF PAPER.
I hate my life right now.
I just want to leave, just GET OUT of here and not work anymore and reeducate myself in being a human being.
Two weeks and six days...

Yesterday was a bit less mind-blowingly awful as the other workdays. When I came in, I had letters from both Jeremy and Dana (why the hell are they always intertwined?) and I managed to bring enough candy and magazines to entertain myself. I have my own office, so people don't really bother me/ I'm utterly alone. We have an unspoken understanding that if they give me work, I'll do it, but if they don't, I'm going to be doing something not work related...I'm paid $8.15 an hour to do People.com crossword puzzles. I guess that's good news.

At least yesterday Dali, the Mexican secretary-Gap worker, came and we hung out. We were looking through the People magazine I had making fun of people. I hung up a picture of Jake Gylenhall on the wall to brighten up the office a little. We debated over who should be in the Top 10 best looking bachelors or whatever spread of the week was. He advised me that any man with a small fancy dog was the "highest level of gay".
Dali's taking me and Sydney out tonight, somewhere in Soho he said. And then tomorrow we might hit the Gay Pride Parade, because he said it was crazy and a lot of fun. But then again, mom wants to try and sneak into Live8, or at least listen from outside the park. So I guess I should her do that too...such possibilities. At least the weekend looks a little fun.

I think Chris is ripping me off on that car though...in the Washington Post, there were ads for the same car (different year, though) starting from $2,500. He'd be charging about $9000...NOT including the stereo system. Jerk.